Enlightenment
by Languish-Dreams
Summary: Complete. 'His companions’ rituals that were spawned by the rain were common knowledge amongst them now and, while he didn’t pretend to fully understand the motivation behind their self imposed torture, Goku dealt with it.'


**Enlightenment**  
_By Languish-Dreams_

A warm, heavy gust of wind stirred through the night, shifting branches and displacing the scattered leaves that littered the town's streets. The air was thick with impending moisture and even though the time for sunrise had arrived, the sky remained black with rolling clouds. Nearly inaudible crickets still singing the last traces of an unsettled night away accompanied the rustling of leaves and small tornadoes of dust appeared every so often in the streets below. From his standpoint on the hotel's balcony, Goku could see and hear it all. While the children she bore slept, nature continued to weave her power across the land; a show that had somehow woke the Earth spirit from his sleep and drawn him outside to watch in person.

The storm was rolling closer with each passing moment and Goku knew they would not be traveling today. A jagged flash crossed the sky, illuminating the deserted town for a moment before darkness settled once again. Several seconds later the Earth shook as the clouds produced their displeasure in the loudest possible manner and the teen shivered slightly. Even though he was only wearing his usual boxers and t-shirt bed gear, Goku was far from cold. The simple raw beauty of nature had captivated him. It was a show that, given two out of three of his companions feelings toward, he believed to be all for him. In the back of his mind he knew Sanzo would be waking up soon, if he wasn't already, and Hakkai would be quick to follow. His companions' rituals that were spawned by the rain were common knowledge amongst them now and, while he didn't pretend to fully understand the motivation behind their self-imposed torture, Goku dealt with it. He had no fear of his roommate, Gojyo, waking up any time soon. The redhead would roll out of bed on his own time, somewhere near lunch, unless Hakkai helped him along.

So, for the moment, he was alone on the hotel balcony; a fact he was both lamented and was thankful for. Goku was grateful for his traveling 'family'. One might go so far as to say he even loved them; but every once in awhile even he needed some peace. Tonight nature herself had answered that need with the only force possible to distract his companions for any length of time. Crossing his arms and leaning heavily on the railing, he let his mind wander to the past few months of their journey. Fighting and death, death and fighting; the two had become intermingled with their lives now and the teen found it hard to recall the boring days back at Chang 'An. They had all had their share of heartbreaks, sadness, agony, anger, and bitter betrayal along the way so far and things showed no signs of stopping for some time to come.

And blood. So very much blood marked the path behind them and no doubt it awaited the journey ahead as well. Sometimes it was nearly too much to handle. Sometimes all Goku wanted was to go back in time, to return to the days of a bitter, hotheaded monk whose greatest danger was Goku himself. But he knew, with a heavy heart, that those days were gone forever. Each day brought a new memory whose disturbing qualities pushed back on the ones before it, slowly eradicating more pleasant thoughts from his mind. He was afraid, sometimes, that one day he would be as hard-hearted and locked away as Sanzo. Perhaps he would hide himself behind a false pretense like Hakkai, or believe himself to be incapable of receiving another's love like Gojyo. Scowling slightly, Goku shook his head and let the soft touch of his ever-growing hair against his cheek distract him from such thoughts.

Whatever the future held he would be it. He could not control what encounters would await them along the way, only his reaction to those encounters. There, and only there, lay the crux of his future self. The wind picked up again, causing the trees to bend and shake with its force. Goku closed his eyes and listened to the harsh sound, feeling the electricity crackle through the air as another bolt of lighting graced the sky. A mere second later came the following clap of thunder, a deep rumble that continued to echo even after it passed. The wind shifted erratically, a soft breeze this time; but it brought with it a familiar scent to Goku's sensitive nose. The teen opened his eyes, holding his position and looking out into the dark clouds as the man behind him stepped up to the railing.

He could hear the rustle of Hakkai's long sleeved shirt and pants as he moved and Goku only glanced over long enough to spot the healer's disheveled hair. A softer smell followed a few seconds later and the teen turned, amused to find Hakkai holding two cups of steaming tea. Goku knew the man had been up awhile already. Taking one of the offered cups with a nod of thanks, both men turned back to the open sky.

Hakkai smiled as he peered at the young man next to him. He worried his presence had somehow disturbed the tranquility that seemed to have built up around Goku, but the teen seemed just as relaxed as before. They all knew how rare such moments as these could be on a journey such as theirs; it was best to make the most of them, even if it meant sacrificing sleep to do so. Not that rest would be a factor in their travels today; Sanzo would be in no mood to set out once the rain started to fall. The night was seasonably warm, although it was becoming a passing memory in wake of the impending storm. The temperature had already dropped several degrees, lacing the breezes that drifted past with a touch of unwelcome coolness. A few long sips of tea quickly chased that thought from his mind and Hakkai was grateful he'd spotted Goku up here before making the hot liquid. Looking over at his silent companion he was surprised, yet happy, that the teen's cup was already empty.

Several short flashes suddenly lit the way for his eyes and Hakkai could clearly see the thoughtful and serious expression on Goku's face. The accompanying boom that resounded immediately thereafter caused the younger man to jump slightly, obviously shaken from whatever thoughts had captivated him so.

"Couldn't sleep?" Hakkai asked quietly before taking another sip of his tea.

Goku fiddled with his own now empty cup and sighed. "Yeah. Just thinking."

"I'm curious to know what thoughts could possibly keep you from bed." The healer said, his voice full of amusement. "That is, of course, if you are willing to share."

Grinning slightly, Goku turned around and leaned backed, placing his elbows on the railing to rest. "Just wishful thinking I guess. You know? Wanting to be back home again instead of out here with all the fighting and death."

Unbidden memories resurfaced for Hakkai and he bit back a bitter smile before replying.

"Would it truly be that much better then?" he whispered.

Goku turned his head and regarded the brunette beside him for a few long moments. He remembered Hakkai's story, the death of his sister and the subsequent killing of an entire demon clan because of it. Gojyo and Sanzo's own pasts tugged at his mind as well, and the teen frowned slightly as he thought.

"Where we are, where we could be; I guess it's all the same no matter which path you choose, huh Hakkai?"

His grin widening, Goku tossed his empty cup to the healer, stretching his arms above his head as Hakkai deftly caught the flying piece in one hand.

"Yeah." The teen said with a nod. "I guess I'll never be happy with where I am so long as I keep thinking of where I could have been."

Hakkai stared in wonder as the teen walked off, his arms piled a top his head.

"Night Hakkai."

"Goodnight Goku."

Turning his face back and up to the gray sky, Hakkai felt the first drops of rain lightly hit his skin. He stayed only a few moments more before heading inside again, shutting the balcony door to keep the rain from coming inside. Stepping through the room quietly, he shook his head in amusement at the already snoring teen that lay sprawled haphazardly across his bed. Closing the door behind him, he went downstairs and deposited the cups, after washing them, back to their rightful spots.

Goku's words continued to roll through his mind as he ascended the stairs and by the time he'd reached his room, Hakkai became aware that he could no longer hear the rain. A quick glance outside confirmed that it was, however, still raining. Sitting down on his bed, he smiled again. Tonight he had received enlightenment from a boy five hundred years his senior. Lying down, Hakkai felt the gentle tug of sleep calling him, lulling him into a dreamless sleep.

The future, for him, had just become a bit more bearable.


End file.
